Apparently quality of British journalism is greater to such a degree that newspapers and media outlets are able to group teenagers into stereotypical blocks at a magnitude to which American journals have not yet considered, even in the most stodgy and ill-informed of their dreams. This across-the-pond article from the Daily Mail entitled "EMO cult warning for parents" is so utterly ridiculous, I was left theorizing possible facetious authoring. Serious media. Serious entertainment.
1.The Emos - short for Emotional - regard themselves as a cool, young sub-set of the Goths. Preposterous. Although both groups are pitiable, lumping them together seems odd.
2.The Instant Emo Kit site gives advice on identity. Wear a child's T-shirt with a slogan such as 'Unhappy Chick' and drive a Vespa. Above all, 'show your inner despair by looking like you are too sad to eat. Obesity and emocity do not mix.' Hahaha. This quote wins so many internets... Impossibly dense. Bonus points for the word 'emocity.'
3.It even nods to a working population, permitting Corporate Goths, who wear black trouser suits. Corporate Goths win every meeting with vampirical persuasion.
The phrase 'Elder Goth' was used repeatedly. This fact made me consider that perhaps the author was also once drenched in black and hating life.